Time for some more rambling and thoughts to cross my mind as of late…
Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that I’ve been forgetting things more and more often…. conversations (verbal or in email) seem to be slipping away. At work, I feel like I don’t know which way I’m going anymore…. it’s like I’m just on cruise control. Unfortunately, being asleep at the wheel isn’t healthy… not even in the metaphorical sense.
For the past 10 years or so, I seem to have had two parts to my life: Work and Home. At work, I’m constantly thinking of ways to improve things or solutions to some problem…. at home, I would usually think about work. I’ve always been a proponent of mind over body…. there was rarely a time when I need the help of a physician…. or anyone. Hell, when I had my kidney stone, it had practically passed 90% though me before I asked my wife to take me to the hospital.
Another thing that never helped was the aspergian(sp?) trait of being a loner. Despite my trying to fit in, I’ve only felt comfortable when I was alone. However, thanks to my wife, Miranda, I’ve been getting help with that. She’s been active in getting me to see various doctor’s and including me with much of her social life. (ie going places with her friends) I also owe a lot of my sociable appearance to my past jobs in the customer service industry. I already feel like a fool most of the time when trying to talk to people… stammering for the right thing to say, making little noises to myself, repetitive physical movements, or simply laughing/snickering too much during a conversation… but it’s better than the silent alternative, don’t you think? So please, pay me no mind if you think I’m odd, I’m just trying to act “normal”.
Anyhow, back to my topic…. I’m fairly sure that my recent lapse in memory is caused by the build up of stress at work. There have been a number of published scientific studies that show that too much multi-tasking is NOT good for you. Including that with the stress I have at work is surely one of the key factors in my loss of memory. I’ve been working with computers now for close to 20 years…. about the past 15 years have been in a support role. I feel like I’ve become a slave to this hobby I had for computers. It’s not something I really enjoy doing… it just happens to be something I’m good at without really trying.
So in an effort to try and calm my nerves and provide some self-psychotherapy, I’ve enrolled myself in some Wilton Cake Decorating classes at our local JoAnn Fabrics store!
Is this a good idea? I think so. I don’t really have an outlet from stress at work…. playing music physically hurts (hand conditions)… and playing video games too much gets me motion sick. Now, the main concern I have with cake decorating is the need for a steady hand. I’m just hoping that my tremors are a neurological condition brought on by stress and not something that will continue to interfere with my life. I’m really excited to start these classes… 2 hours a week for 4 sessions. I hope they help with the stress reduction. At least the increased Zoloft dosage has prevented me from having more panic attacks…. although a few times, I was pretty darn close.
I start the classes in November… so I’ll be sure to post pictures of my train wrec…. er…. masterpieces online for all to see and laugh at. ;o)
###